Atonement

I'm .................
selfish
selfish...selfish....and selfish
they all say

ya.... of course, at times
i know
when things are all running for their betterment
and simply for my worse
am i supposed to keep my mouth shut?
as if nothing is happening
to me i have done enough of that
even though none is mentioned, appreciated or praised
still they want me to and others are all benefitted people
except for me

if when ever i utter a word or a sigh against
i'm selfish, high tempered and foolish


a dam
bears all weight, rippling of water and changing of currents that run beneath
there will be a time the dam cannot bear any more
firstly it will give jerks,
when it's totally unbearable
the dam will blast in to pieces, tiny little pieces
letting the water rush in the way it wanted

So no matter what happens
if u all want me to bear and be quiet
i'll be that what you'll will be pleased with

at night
i'll cry out my suppressed feelings
unknown to the world
and pretend that i'm always happy
in the world of drama

BUT
do me one favor????
the only thing i'm asking
the jerks are out of my control
(no matter how hard i try)
bear it will you?

i'm sure i wont be a dam at the end